TechForums - Computer and Technical Discussions

Here they are:
1.If A$$holes could fly.......This place would be an airport.
2.Seat-belts are for pregnet women.
3.Years of University just to be able to tell people what verbs and nouns REALLY are. Government mind control devices.
4.The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
5.Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped
6.Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
7.When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
8.Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
9.If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10.Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

You are free to add any B)

I'd rather have Lockheed deliver the mail than ride around in a plane built by the post office.

* Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

* Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. -- Thomas Jones
* We are the people our parents warned us about.

* Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. -- Abba Eban

* Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.

* Power means not having to respond.

* I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

* The future isn't what it used to be.

* You got to be careful if you dont know where your'e going, because you might not get there. -- Yogi Berra

* Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

* Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship of state. They merely adjust the compass.

* Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

* Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. -- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

* If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. -- Aristotle Onassis